{you know you’re a runner when…}

You go to wipe your nose with the collar of your shirt when you are out and about because you do it so often running that you forget that it’s not socially accepted by the general public.

Your rarely get a pedicure for ten full toenails. And at least one of yours is currently black.

You separate your workout clothes from the rest of your clothes for laundry, not because they smell, but because you are more careful with them. They cost way more than your other clothes.

You put Aquaphor under your butt cheeks after a long run due to chafe.

You have screamed at the top of your lungs in the shower when you first discovered said chafe.

You have the ability to completely soak your hair without actually going in any water.

You have think twice about spitting or doing a snot rocket when not running.

You don’t bat an eyelash when your friend needs a band aid for boob chafe.

You tell your running friends they’re welcome to drop a deuce in your bathroom if they happen to be running in your neighborhood… and you mean it.

You look forward to the things you dread, such as track, hill repeats, etc. Because you’re a sicko.

You are seriously considering purchasing a dresser just for running clothes.

The most expensive pair of shoes in your closet are your running shoes.

You consider your foam roller a piece of living room furniture.

You go to sleep in running clothes to save yourself time in the morning before a run.

You are on the highway and your reaction to the mileage signs is “I could run here…”

You base your whole day’s caloric intake on the mileage you just ran.

You excitedly point out all the port-a-potties on the side of the road as you’re driving by.

You plan running routes based on your knowledge of port-a-potty locations.

You live in moisture wicking materials, because anything else just won’t cut it. Ever again.

You no longer have non-running friends, because you drove them crazy talking about running. All. Of. The. Time.

You have no problem dropping $65 on a sports bra, but can’t understand paying $40 for a regular bra.

You can share your worst poop-related run stories with total strangers at a group run because you know they’ll get it.

Your significant other knows what Saturday mornings are for… and it’s not sex.

You puke in your mouth and keep going.

You do any other bodily function and keep on trucking.

Your entire Amazon wish list is running gear.

And the day you finally came to terms with the fact that regardless of pace, if you run, you are a runner, was undoubtedly the best day of your life. And if you’re not there yet, you will get there. And when you do, all the rest of us crazy fuckers will be here to celebrate with you. And talk to you about your bodily functions with joyful abandon.

This list was compiled from a series of responses from fellow runners… I have not necessarily experienced all of these things. Some of them… I hope I never do.

Have any additional ideas? Please share by commenting, below!


2 thoughts on “{you know you’re a runner when…}

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