If I were going to follow my marathon training plan to a T, I would’ve run 21 miles today. But 1) I registered for a hilly half marathon, 2) it snowed last night, and 3) I’m burnt out. So instead of running the extra miles, I gave myself the gift of a “reduced mileage” day, which is absolutely preposterous, because running 13.1 miles, at a race no less, technically does NOT qualify as reduced mileage. You run harder at races. Period.
I went into this race intending to run with friends, take it easy, and have a good time. I mean… how can you not have a good time when you’re wearing a sparkly skirt and pompoms on your shoes in Christmas colors?
Instead, I started with friends, then found some serious energy and took off. Which was all well and good, until the urge to pee forced me to wait in line for a port-a-potty at mile 7.5.
While thrilled to my toes (as evidenced by my double-thumbs up) to see this thing that normally gives me nightmares and makes me gag until my eyes water (it’s a whole new experience when it’s cold out… they don’t smell!), I found myself wasting precious time waiting in line for this thing. But it was a must.
Up until this point, I seriously contemplated peeing in someone’s front yard, hiking through fresh snow to pee in the woods, and peeing my pants. None of these were appealing options… I didn’t want to get arrested, I didn’t want to get snow in my shoes, and I didn’t want to be forced to walk home from Atkinson (which, strangely enough, is 26.2 miles away from where my car was parked) because I had wet myself and my ride wouldn’t let me in her car… so port-a-potty it was.
Before I share my results… I have to say… this race was tough. The roads were slick from last night’s snow and the course is pretty hilly. The last 2-3 miles are uphill. Despite this, I managed to keep my intervals going. For the first time, ever. Every other half marathon I’ve done, I’ve walked the last three miles. There’s something about mile marker 10 that makes my brain be like NOPE, NOPE… WE’RE DONE.
But not today, bitches!
My official results were 2:47:04. Not bad. Not my best, and 13 seconds slower than my first half last year. But factor in the hills, the road conditions, and the port-a-potty stop…
My Garmin, which I paused for the pee break, reported a 2:40:30. This is a 3-minute PR over my last half marathon, earlier this fall at an equally-hilly, and equally-challenging race (billed as “gentle rolling hills, then fast and flat at the end… which was a blatant lie. That course was all hills. Every time I turned onto a new street, I was staring up another damn hill… have I mentioned that it rained the whole time? It was the weekend Hurricane Irma made it to New England).
I’ll take the Garmin results with my medal, thank you!
I’m never stopping to pee during a race, ever again.